Perfectly Flawed - Part Three

He was still holding on to it?

With a firm yet gentle grip, she pushed his hands away from her shoulders. After all that happened, he still believed that just a change of their feelings was responsible for believing her? Not that realising Shyam was a full fledged bastard, not that he had understood that Khushi would do anything for his sister.

Just because they shared a few passionate moments, his feelings for her overcame his hate.

That's all that ever happened.

"I didn't mean it." Arnav whispered while a frozen Khushi stared at nothingness.

"Khushi I..." Arnav started and moved forward to be stopped as Khushi raised her hand and shook her head.

"I had told Shyam to leave your sister because he was a parasite to her. It was awkward and weird when Shyam used to call me in his room when your sister used to misbehave with him." Khushi mumbled and looked at a thoroughly confused Arnav.

"My sister misbehaving with Shyam... impossible." Arnav refused while Khushi shrugged her shoulders.

"It's true. God knows what he must have told Di to make her shout at him." Khushi sank on the couch and looked at a silent Arnav.

Chuckling slightly, she added "Anyways I never thought I had to justify myself after all that went between us. But I was wrong... and if I was in place of you then I would have never trusted that Shyam. The man who has been cheating his wife, why would he tell you the truth? Did it never strike you that being a simple lawyer he was out of the house more than a C.E.O like you! The fault was always with Shyam."

Smoothing the creases on her suit, she reached for his hand and looked into his eyes "Just like how the fault seems to be with Sheetal. I could never suspect you Arnavji, I love you. Truly."

Arnav closed his eyes as the situations became clearer with every word of Khushi's. It all made perfect sense. Yet, his ego was bruised when Khushi pointed at his flaws and inability to asses his own brother in law.

Too arrogant to submit to his own mistakes, Arnav pulled back his hands and crossed them against his chest "What happened to the 'I understand you' you threw at me, cause clearly that doesn't hold any grain of truth with you lamenting over my behaviour!?"

Khushi gasped at his caustic reply and stood up in her defence "Arnavji, remember what I told you!"

On seeing his stiffened face; Khushi closed her eyes for a brief moment and sighed, exasperated at his thick headedness. "I said I understood why you did what you did! Because Di's your sister and I know that we both can go to any extent to save our families. I sacrificed the sacrilege of marriage and you sacrificed me. Have I ever asked about the four months that I had to spend in hell?"

Arnav swallowed dryly and balled his fists, without giving her a reply he bent to take his car keys when a delicate hand wrapped around his wrist in a gentle yet firm grip.

"No Arnavji, I won't let you run today. There needs to be a time when you stop running away from your troubles. First during our attempted wedding night, then our second marriage..."

Khushi tugged on to his wrist tighter as Arnav still attempted to leave. Tightening her grip, she looked up at his insufferable face.

Did nothing what she said make any difference to him?

She looked up at his face and waited for him to reply, seeing none she gave a last try "I won't let you go without an answer."

Arnav lost his cool and pulled his hand off hers "This is exactly what's pissing me off! The discussion was about you not me! Your childish and clingy behaviour is getting on my nerves Khushi, and being the great Khushi you are... you just switched the situation into blaming me. This just proves it, you don't know me."

A tear rolled down Khushi's cheek as he lashed out on her, letting of her cool she stood head to head with him "You're right. When did I ever know you? Your likes dislikes, college life... I simply don't know anything. I simply fell in love with you and it's my fault to have not known what a man you are." Arnav turned around as she whispered the last sentence.

Just as Arnav approached her, Khushi stared back at him "But I know one thing about you, you are gifted with a blind horse's vision. Don't you see what Sheetal is trying to do?" Khushi closed her eyes as she tried to keep tears at bay.

Too heartbroken by his recent words, Khushi continued to speak "Oh wait, who am I speaking to? The man who can believe a swindling brother in law but not the woman he claims to be in love with! I never asked for your blind faith but how come, being the businessman that you are, never realised that I wouldn't have ever benefitted from lying to you!"

"Shut up!" Arnav yelled and banged his fist against the table "Enough of you counting about my flaws Khushi. I am well aware of everything." Kneading his fingers into his stiff neck, he turned to Khushi and glared "You're forgetting that Arnav Singh Raizada always knows what he's doing, cause he writes his own fate."

Grabbing his coat, he proceeded towards their room but stopped at the foot of their staircase "By the way, Sheetal might be flirting harmlessly... that's not a problem. And as far as Shyam is concerned, he was in this family for seven years, obviously I would trust him more than a girl whom I've known for just a few months. And technically you had a lot more to gain by keeping a double affair, in fact..."

His words came to a halt as Khushi sharply turned towards him and looked into his eyes, hers seething with rage and pain. She scrutinized him with her eyes as Arnav blinked a couple of times and sighed, slouching against a pillar.

As Arnav looked at the tortured expression on her face, he felt a part of himself breaking. What was the need to dig old graves and scratch old wounds raw? He didn't want this anymore, he didn't want the fights, the confrontations!

If all Khushi was missing him, he would make up for it. Keeping his coat aside, he felt a strange fear as Khushi left by his side and settled on the sofa, her delicate frame shaking with her sobs. Taking quick steps he crouched next to Khushi and took her hand in his. Arnav stifled a groan as Khushi refused to look into his eyes.

Cupping her cheek, he turned her face forcefully towards his and glanced at her eyes "I am sorry. I didn't mean to say all this... all these beliefs were according to the past, I don't believe this now." He looked on as Khushi sniffed slightly.

Cursing at himself as all his words flooded into his head, he took a deep breathe "Look Khushi, if we want to discuss the past it will get messy! Let's fu****g forget this and move ahead. We're married with everything, what had to happen, happened. You're missing me, right? Let's go somewhere..." He coaxed while Khushi tried to free herself from his grip.

"Khushi, answer me... let's go somewhere." To his surprise, Khushi left Arnav and walked towards their room. Anger rose in Arnav on being ignored, he followed suit.

"Khushi, I'm talking to you!" But Khushi avoided him like a plague, instead she headed towards the wardrobe and took her nightdress. A gasp left her mouth as Arnav twisted her wrist and pulled her towards him.

"When I'm talking to you then reply to me damn it!"  Khushi shook as he shouted at her. Gulping slightly, she looked into his feral eyes and winced as his grip became too painful to bear. Arnav's eyes widened in shock as he heard her painful moan. Releasing his grip instantly, he looked on as Khushi held her aching hand.

Instant guilt rushed through him as ugly blue and purple bruises marked her pale wrist. Blinking repeatedly to avoid her tears, Khushi let her hand be and stared into his eyes.

Arnav looked away as he saw the raw disappointment set in her hazel eyes.

"You never changed..."  His head shot up at her remark. Shaking his head he said "Khushi I didn't mean to hurt you, neither today nor when I sent you to that blasted guesthouse..."

"It's not hurting my wrist." 

"Then?"

"It's you, you had never nor even tried to change."  She whispered, whimpering slightly as she brushed off the broken pieces of a bangle from her wrist.

Khushi sucked a breath as Arnav walked dangerously close to her, his breath wafting over her face "I NEVER changed?"  Khushi gripped on to her suit as Arnav banged his fist on the wall beside her and walked aside.

"I forgave your mother for whatever she did! And you're saying I DIDN'T CHANGE!" He barked while Khushi just blinked a few times.

"Forgave?" She looked at her husband in disbelief. 

"For what?"  She whispered "Twenty years ago history had simply repeated itself; with me being in Amma's, Shyam in your father's and Di being in your mother's place." 

Arnav turned towards Khushi, unable to deny the stark reality in her words. Life was nothing but a vicious circle. As his stormy eyes met her teary ones, he knew that the only difference was that her Amma had fallen for his father, while Khushi had loved Arnav.

Always.

But Arnav was born with a vice, never to be wrong , even if it hurt loved ones.

And Khushi had been born with another, to accept being wrong if it was for loved ones.

So accustomed Arnav was with Khushi's nature, he knew that she wouldn't prove him wrong, that she would take in all he said and forgive him if he asked for it.

"Why don't you try to understand me?" He groaned out. Arnav Singh Raizada could never be mistaken, and admittance would be over his dead body.

Khushi looked on helplessly as she found her husband's ego rule over him. She knew that he didn't mean a percent of what he said, she knew that he knew she could read him like an open book... yet he would pose to be ignorant of it.

But for once, Khushi refused to understand him.

Arnav frowned at the silence and waited for Khushi to at least look at him, if not respond. What surprised him was the barrier in her honey brown eyes.

For the first time Arnav was scared.

No matter how many accusations they threw at each other, they could always read what was going in the other's mind and hearts.

His mouth parted to say something but stopped as Khushi's shoulders slouched in defeat.

NO

Alarm rang in Arnav's head. They had to follow the cycle; love each other immensely, grow apart due to misunderstandings, hurt each other and then make up. Being a man of routine Arnav followed it religiously.

But Khushi was breaking it, she wasn't fighting back... she just looked lost.

Nervousness flooded in his veins when he realised that he had to take the first step towards another conversation. Grabbing her shoulders out of habit, he yanked her slightly and growled "You aren't happy with me!"

Arnav looked on with anticipation as Khushi would refute his allegation, hug him tightly and probably shed a few tears telling him how much she loved him and nothing better apart from their marriage could happen to her.

Tell me that Khushi... his mind coaxed her, waiting for her to profess her happiness and love.

Tears stung his eyes ever so lightly as Khushi barely answered, looking at a distant wall. Cupping her cheeks Arnav guided her attention to him, his actions turning rougher with every passing minute.

He loved her too much, yet he wanted to hear it from her mouth.

After that they could be happy, he'll apologise but at least let her say that she's happy wi...

"Maybe not..."

Arnav's mind came to a rude halt as her whisper fell on his ears. His heart collapsed and his grip slackened. Shaking his head slightly, he looked into her eyes for confirmation when he saw that the ever assuring light of love to be replaced by fatigue and pain.

"You aren't happy with me..."  Arnav repeated like a question to himself "So what should I do to make you happy damn it!" Khushi barely flinched as she knew that he yelled more to himself than her.

His fingers shook from the need to break something, his head throbbed with massive pain. The angry, insecure Arnav attacked him as he tried to figure out who could make Khushi happy, if not him.

Which other man could make Khushi happy?

Shyam was out of question, Arnav thought. That's when NK's face flashed before him.

His gut clenched as Arnav knew that NK was the perfect man for Khushi. Not scarred but cheerful and moreover NK would die than hurt Khushi.

NK was everything Arnav wasn't.

Numbness spread through Arnav as he feared the same would come out from Khushi's mouth, walking up to her he barked "So what should I do! Should I roam around you like NK? Lose out on winning so as to I can see a smile on your face?"

There, he had cornered her with his fear even before she could get to it.

With her heart too bruised to take on more, Khushi pushed him aside, almost missing the satisfactory smile on Arnav's face as he noticed her anger on being coupled with NK.

"What rubbish! I never saw Nanhe in that light!" Khushi closed her eyes and tried to swallow in whatever he said. 

"That's why you're a child, Khushi. NK loved you, beyond everything. But you never saw it... you barely understand what's happening around you. What did you think, why would NK make sacrifices to see you happy? You never spoke to me, you always stuck with him!" Arnav blowed off his steam , knowing very well that Khushi could barely see his fear laced in every word.

"So that's why..." Khushi mumbled. 

"That's why what?"

"Whenever Nanhe was with me, your jealousy fuelled your 'love' for me. No wonder that now I'm yours forever, it doesn't matter if you love or hurt me. Is this our love Arnavji? Either in the mouth of death or in someone's jealousy we end up expressing our feelings? Is our love so weak?" Khushi demanded for answers while Arnav leaned against a wall, feeling exhaustion creep under his skin.

"No Khushi, at the situations where relationships break... ours went from strength to streng..." Arnav was interrupted by Khushi's mock chuckle.

"Strength to strength?"

Arnav looked at Khushi for answers while she just shook her head, a ghost of a smile on her lips "If Nanhe's sacrifices and my win at the cost of his was love... then"

Irritated with her pauses, Arnav ground out "Then what?"

With her tears long dried, Khushi stood up and walked towards him, her eyes holding a strange light "Then you never loved me."

A gasp left Arnav's mouth as Khushi's words hit him like shards of glass, straight into his heart.

He loved her. When? His conscience asked.

Arnav kept on staring at Khushi as her words sank in,

Then you never love me...

Never.

This couldn't be the truth. He knew he loved her with every fibre of his being yet he knew that Khushi barely knew that. But Arnav couldn't be vulnerable! Anger pounded in his blood at the very thought that Khushi believed NK's love was truer to her than his.

Gnashing his teeth, he prepared himself for a retort which never came.

Khushi sighed on not even seeing him battling for his love, rather he barked at her for starting the huge fight due to a mere meeting with Sheetal. Something as trifling as that.

"Trifling? Which matter of mine does not seem small or childish to you?" Khushi yelled as her frail threads of sanity snapped.

"From Shyam's fiasco till Sheetal's bold advances, whenever I have tried to tell you something, you've never believed me! Rather you think I love to blame every second person I see!"Khushi searched for his face for some emotion but all Arnav did was look away.

"Fine, I am wrong... I admit I'm mad, but just answer one question for me."  Khushi knew she had her husband's attention the minute his head tilted slightly towards her.

"You are being told that Shyam and I had an intimate history and one day Shyam comes home with a csmall girl who loves jalebis, stars and Salman Khan Her dresses are filled with pompoms and whenever she gets tensed, she starts to eat jalebis. More so,here every second word is Hey Devi Maiyya and she calls you Laad Governor... what will you do?" Arnav frowned at her absurd question and whipped around to face Khushi.

"What rubbish! Ff you're wanting to talk about Aarav it could be because he's a great fan of me and emulates me... I can't even believe that you can go low enough to think of that boy to be my son. Wouldn't I have told you Khushi?"

"Oh! What about emulating your type 1 diabetes?" Khushi snapped back while Arnav rolled his eyes "I am not the only man in the world with type 1 diabetes, from where did you get this idea?"

On seeing his resistance from viewing things from her perspective, Khushi held his arm for a last try "Arnavji, Sheetal gave me hints herself!"

"Oh! So anyone says anything and you'll trust that person more than your husband? Oh I forgot, you're a kind who thinks of everyone except for me. From dragging the entire family for a movie to refusing to get close to me and then even denying to go out with me, all the time! For once, stop being a kid Khushi." Khushi felt waves of humiliation as her husband pointed out to her.

"Then you're forgetting that you forcefully married an eighteen year old kid! Fine, I am a kid Arnavji" but instead of pointing at me can't you drive away my insecurities? Why must you be so critical? The latter part of the sentence was swallowed in Khushi's mind as she sat down and cried in anguish.

"Let's stop fighting Khushi, I'll fix everything." Arnav sighed in relief as Khushi stopped crying, staring at him in mock wonder.

"Fix everything?" She repeated and Arnav looked away as accusations were thrown in his directions.

Khushi sniffed slightly as she recalled his way of fixing things.

Arnav was desperate to fix his Di's married life, hence he destroyed Khushi by blackmailing her into a ruthless marital bond for six months. Khushi felt her heart break into two pieces but Arnav had been too angry to listen to her.

And when he did, he called her a bloody liar.

He did "fix" di's life though.

Arnav was once again desperate to fix his broken Di after he had thrown Shyam out of his house, the first time. Khushi too wanted to help but she never knew that it would drive Di to an attempted abortion. Khushi felt herself ripped apart but Arnav had been on his rant, too busy to listen to her once again.

And when he did, he called her the biggest mistake of his life.

He did "fix" di's emotional turbulence by indirectly convincing everyone to be alienated from Khushi and by blackmailing her of her family's need to get back into Shantivan.

With desperation Arnav ran back into the hall, expressing his wish to marry Khushi. Khushi had been overjoyed and held on to him as they finally got married with pomp and joy. Yet Khushi felt a part of her existence tremble when Arnav had been so careless with what his waiting bride would feel at his absence, the marriage looked like a favour. Khushi tried to talk to him to understand him.

And when they spoke, he said he was overcoming his past... not because he loved her.

Though he "fixed" Khushi by marrying her.

And lastly, Arnav was desperate to fix his image of not being Aarav's father. A simple paternity test or directly questioning Sheetal about the startling resemblances would have been more than enough... and more than that, if he had told Khushi too that her thoughts weren't wrong but misled. Khushi felt the last bit of herself break.

They spoke once more, and he called her an immature jealous child.

He "fixed" her insecurities like that.

"You should have known me Khushi." Arnav's whisper broke her trail of thoughts.

Ah the vulnerability on his face, didn't that weaken Khushi each and everytime? "Everyone has their own set of flaws Arnavji." She replied, hoping he would understand.

Rather Arnav lashed out "NO, no one has gone through what I have. Your parents died in a crazy accident but I saw my parents ramming bullets into their heads in a freak suicide. I held their bleeding bodies throughout the night, their blood drenched my clothes. Just a fourteen year old child I was Khushi, in a bloodbath because of a fu****g MARRIAGE GONE WRONG." Khushi jumped as Arnav screamed the last sentence.

"So yes, I am terrible and this is the reason I don't want a marriage. Look at our state, it's not even a few years and we're clawing our skins off. I shouldn't have got married the second time with you." Khushi looked into his stormy eyes and found the last thread snapping off.

The thread that connected him to her.

"You're right." Her words jolted Arnav as she looked distraught, having aged more than the nineteen years she now is.

Love, trust and respect are the three pillars of any marriage but their love was just a strong gust of wind, too heady when it hits but it exists for a mere moment. Their trust was always based on weak grounds and respect he never did.

From a gold digger to a mistrusting wife, Khushi heard all.

As her marriage crumbled before her eyes, Khushi felt herself choke up with a cry. She had failed as a wife.

"I wish you knew..."that how much I loved you, that you are the Sun of my universe. Arnav read it all, though she had worded none.

"It's you Khushi..." you're destroying everything, you always had. Her eyes grew sore from crying, yet a single tear made it's way from her red eyes as she read all that he had said and thought.

Your fault.

Your sacrifices.

Your attempt to control.

Everything will break apart one day when you realise you aren't as perfect as you believe yourself to be.

Khushi stared at him once again, not knowing if he said something or not. Am I controlling you, are you not happy with me? Do I suffocate you? Do you regret me?

I didn't want to be controlled

A sudden stroke of pain hit her heart, tearing up her old wounds once again as she read him. He didn't want the mess, didn't want the fights, nothing... just a rosy life where he handled everything. The marriage never stood as a sign of companionship for Arnav.

It was just a symbol of having gotten over his past.

The pheres never stood for vows, they were just Khushi's whims which were fulfilled. The sindoor and mangalsutra never stood for blissful life, friendship and commitment; they were just the rituals one had to follow to complete a marriage.

"Feelings?" Khushi asked an Arnav who was sitting beside her, looking around aimlessly.

"And what about our feelings Khushi? My feelings, your feelings?) Arnav had gripped her shoulders the night he attempted to have a wedding night.

"That night, you asked about my feelings." Khushi muttered once more, finding Arnav fiddling with a file. "Hmm..."

"You never stopped to know what it was." The grip around his file tightened and his eyes flew to hers, searching for her answer. His eyes questioned hers.

"I was scared."

The file fell as Arnav stood up abruptly, staring into her beautiful but vulnerable eyes. "Why?" He asked, his throat tightening as he recalled every situation, by removing the humour he had then found in them.

"Why?" She questioned back at him.

Every time they had come close to attaining the other, he had broken her heart. The night of the diwali, she had given up to him but he had spurned her brutally. The night of Akash's wedding she had let open every barrier in her heart to only find herself unprotected when she needed him the most. At the time of Akash's wedding she wanted to hear the five words - Will you marry me Khushi? - but all she heard - Marry me for six months. Yet when they survived the kidnapping, her beaten heart took its wobbly steps in love as he flirted with her so affectionately while taking his medicines by the poolside, to only return at night and make sure the heart never beats again.

Khushi would have died to have woken up giving every part of herself to a man who would insult her the same day for doing something or the other. The physical intimacy was a prize for Arnav, thrusting the wedding night lehenga into her hands instead of presenting it with love. Dragging her to the bed even when her body was numb with fright and fear.

The barely remnants of her arousal was replaced by terror as Arnav rubbed his nose against her neck, not even asking if she ever wanted it.

"I love you Khushi, are you fine with this tonight... I want you to be most comfortable." Khushi told Arnav, he looked at her, his brows frowning slightly.

"That's all it would have taken that night, to have me on bed." Khushi answered while Arnav's mouth twisted in disgust. "Don't cheapen it."

"You never showed you wanted anything else." Khushi replied, silencing Arnav promptly.

After a few minutes, he closed his eyes as he knew the next words would hurt her "It's your fault to not having understood."

What hurt Khushi more than his careless words were the fact that he knew how bad it would hurt her. Feeling her heart plummet, Khushi got up with shaky legs and walked towards the wardrobe. Arnav's body jumped in alarm as she pulled out all her clothes - the old ones.

His eyes followed her as she picked up a bag and put them in.

Yet he refused to say anything because he thought that a much needed break was required. Khushi, for once, was happy as Arnav didn't force her for anything.

A few minutes later Arnav felt a wave of panic settle in him as Khushi only took the dresses, slippers and jewelleries which weren't bought by him. Shuffling his feet nervously, he approached Khushi to find three hundred rupees thrust into his palm.

"I just need a loan." She asked. 

"Oh Loan..." He smirked seeing her.

However, there was a slight pang seeing her hesitate and go down to a business like loan for just three hundred rupees. Everything was hers, why did she have to justify it? He knew she wasn't a gold digger...

Arnav shook his head, he wasn't going to think much about his six month bound wife.

Arnav stood shell shocked as Khushi held his shoulder and took off her payals (anklets), offering them to him as well. With a shaky hand he held those payals, never having looked at them so deeply before.The last time he held them, he had been lost in Khushi's thoughts and not paid a heed to how these little anklets were.

But now, he frowned as he took a closer look of them. His eyes widened as he realised they weren't some cheap silver, rather they could cost a fortune for a small time girl like her. Almost thirty thou...

His car and her scooty crashed. She offered to pay up for his loss and horror marked her face when the amount was twenty five thousand rupees.

Mere for him, much for her.

The memory served as a rude shock and jostled Arnav out of his thoughts. Running up to Khushi he grabbed her wrist, not bothering as he pressed over her old wound and asked "Where are you going damn it!"

"Where am I worth you? Childish, jealous and someone who probably controls you. Moreover, I can't take it anymore... I'm a mere human, I'm tired." She whispered as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

"You just can't leave me!" He barked and closed the door as Khushi sighed, knowing very well he would grab her hand, turn her around and threaten her as usual. Arnav was very predictable.

She ignored each and every of his lashings and simply gripped her bag tighter. He kept on pointing at her for her inability to lead a married life, hoping she would prove him wrong and stay back.

"Why Khushi!" He screamed, his veins sticking out on his neck while Khushi shut her eyes and whispered "Because my heart can't take it anymore... "

Blinking to stop her tears she gulped and looked into his anxious eyes "Till when Arnavji? Till when will I hear and bear? I always understood you but have you tried the same? Why should I live as Di's criminal? Why should I live as your regret? Today you won and I lost, yes I accept that Arnav Singh Raizada writes fate, and I barely know about others... but you have written mine exquisitely! I wanted to see your family happy, but I got punished. I wanted to see your sister happy, but I got punished yet in spite of all that I could never make you happy."

Even though her words were soft and barely close to a shout, Arnav felt as if he was slapped - everytime.

"You can't leave me damn it!" He gripped her shoulders while Khushi whimpered in his grip

"Why do you abuse me so much?" Arnav's grip left Khushi. "I d...don't..." His sentence was left incomplete as he saw his finger impressions on her arms. As he closed his eyes and moved forward to hold her, Khushi shoved his hand aside.

"I can't take it anymore; your pulling, pushing, screaming, blackmailing... it's getting me Arnavji. You have had enough with me, I've seen your love." Wiping her tears furiously, she ran off towards the main door with Arnav breathing down her neck.

"I WON'T LET YOU LEAVE!" Arnav slammed her against the door and immediately rubbed her aching back.

Khushi groaned and her hands splayed across her waist and back.

For a second Arnav's heart stopped beating when Khushi's hands touched her waist.

Was she pregnant?

Arnav cried out in hoarse disbelief thinking about how he slammed her frail body against the door, if she was carrying then...

His eyes moved rapidly and fear paralysed him, "Kh..."

"Live." Khushi let out a strangled whisper while Arnav looked at her, utterly confused. "It's not leave, it's live. You won't let me live, you never have." She gently pushed his hands away from her stomach "No Arnavji, I am not pregnant but thank you, at least for the sake of a child you paused to think if I'm hurt or not."

"Khushi you can't leave me..." He held on to her hand while Khushi sighed, relaxing into his grip.

"True, my heart ceases to beat without you." Khushi said, looking straight into his mellowed eyes.

"Khu..."

"But I cease to breathe with you." Arnav's fingers stilled around her arm, his eyes locked with hers.

"If I need to live, how do I do so Arnavji?" As Khushi looked around the house she couldn't help but recall each and every moment when she was either belittled or abused. The poolside held fond memories of Diwali, Holi and Karva Chauth. Yet barely a moment had passed when memories of him spurning her the night of Diwali, the first night after their phony marriage and him calling her his biggest mistake flashed before her eyes.

How will he stop her now? There's no contract either...

Stepping away from Arnav, Khushi gripped the metal handle and was about to push when he spoke, in an oddly cold voice "You can't go Khushi."

Goosebumps erupted on her skin as she recognised that tone all too well. He had used it every time he blackmailed her or told that he hated her. Khushi's resolve had almost crumbled when he had desperately wanted her to stay... but if he used any of his dirty tricks once more, it would just justify her departure.

With the bile rising up her throat as every bitter memory came flooding back to her mind, Khushi turned towards Arnav, her eyes challenging him why. There, the heartless businessman glint was back in his eyes.

No, she fervently hoped.

Arnav steeled himself for he knew this was the only way to get her to stop. "If you leave, you'll face consequences." Khushi's heart broke as she heard the word consequences, he was back to being what he was best at.

Hurting her.

But Khushi had no fear, irrespective of how Arnav had behaved with her, she had to be thankful to him as he taught her much about life. "What will you do?" The confidence in her voice shook Arnav, but he knew that he would twist his way into getting her back into his life.

And then he would see how to keep her happy with him.

"Don't make me repeat Khushi, we both know." His steely voice pierced her tender heart, giving him a watery smile, she folded her arms across her chest and told "What will you do?"

"What I had promised, I'll separate your sister from my brother." but trust me that will never happen, Arnav told to himself. Every time, in his heart, Arnav apologised for using his younger brother and sister in law as a bait to keep Khushi with him but Arnav was desperate!

But Arnav received a bigger shock as Khushi's face bore no signs of surprise.

"You justified my departure." She smiled sadly at him while Arnav's stance faltered. "It's not an empty threat Khushi." He shot back while Khushi swallowed tightly, nodding her head in acceptance.

Yet when Khushi turned to leave his house, Arnav decided to materialise things. He would explain to Akash later, Akash would understand why his brother did this... he always understood his older brother.

Arnav had it all planned, Aman knew to create false divorce papers for Akash and Payal - right from the beginning. Trampling on his own brother's happiness was never in Arnav's agenda, but if that bound Khushi to him then Arnav could compromise a bit.

"Aman, yes it's an urgent job. Get Akash and Payal's divorce papers finalised."

Khushi stilled and her eyes widened, brimming with tears. She whipped around to face Arnav and looked at his face accusingly. "Stay home, they won't get divorced."

"Jiji's child will grow up fatherless... " Khushi looked as realisation flooded on Arnav's face, he had almost forgotten about Payal being pregnant in his rage. Arnav gulped and looked at Khushi, each knowing the pain of growing up without their parent.

"Stay home..."

"Please Arnavji, I want to leave." Khushi's choked voice betrayed her as Arnav looked at her, concerned yet furious.

"Akash will never refuse me Khushi." He bit out his words, even though he felt the burn of acid in his mouth.

"Jiji is eight months pregnant Arnav."

Arnav looked at Khushi stopped crying, her eyes turning as hollow and cold as his. He could feel Khushi slipping out from his hands.

"YOU are deciding her future Khushi, one step out of this house and Akash will leave Payal, no matter what." Arnav grinded his teeth and looked at an emotionless Khushi.

"Do it."

"WHAT!" Arnav looked up, unable to feign his shock.

"If my jiji has a husband who will leave her with an unborn child because of his blind devotion to his bhai, then my jiji deserves a far better man in her life." Khushi's dispassionate words struck Arnav straight into his iced heart, which had only thrummed with life for her.

"Khushi I will really..."

"Please do it. A marriage that can be shredded by an outsider's blackmail can never live long." Her impassive reply sent Arnav reeling, he went crazy, desperate.

Nothing could stop Khushi.

Nothing

The very thought terrorised Arnav.

"I WON'T LET YOU GO, YOU'LL REGRET LEAVING ME!" Khushi closed her eyes in disappointment.

"I should have known, the Raizada men just know how to hurt their women. Either they're spineless or they break the other's spine..." Khushi mumbled to herself, loud enough for Arnav to hear. He didn't have to know the former one was for Akash and the other one was for him.

With clumsy steps he approached Khushi and grabbed her face "You cannot leave me Khushi."

"How does it matter if I'm gone or not?" Khushi whispered back, her resolve barely breaking for she knew that Arnav would once again hurt her.

He always had.

Could it be possible that at one moment all Khushi wanted to do was snuggle into his arms, behaving as if the other Arnav never existed... or run away as far as possible, to forget every bit of her own existence?

"It matters to me because..." Arnav stared into Khushi's eyes, her eyes pleading his to say what's in his heart.

Dub lub, a lover's heartbeat had never been this painful for Khushi.

"You can't just fu****g go." She stared in disbelief as Arnav still couldn't complete the sentence.

Arnav was lost, he tried everything... from twisting her arm, blackmailing to even threatening her but that didn't budge Khushi.

With a shove Khushi pushed Arnav aside and picked up her bag. "This is why I am leaving Arnav, this is why" because you've always hurt me... how difficult was it for you to hug me and drive away my nightmares, my sorrows, my grief?

I never asked you to love me beyond reason, but then neither did I ask to hurt me beyond reason. Why is it that you hurt me several times but stuttered to just fix my broken heart.

Broken, I am just too broken Arnav.

Broken by your betrayal

Broken by your abuses

Broken by your obvious lies

Broken by your love

I had never asked you to be perfect, yet why did you find the need to find faults in me?

"It hurts only when I know, you know... that why I matter to you. Still, you could never say so." Khushi's throat hurt from suppressing her sobs. Clutching the strap of her bag, she looked into his wild eyes as they searched for a way to stop her.

Arnav found the earth slipping below his feet as Khushi opened the door and walked away, not before saying;

"All you had to say... is why I mattered to you."

As the door closed with a thud, swaying hauntingly with Khushi's impact... Arnav's world shattered into pieces.

Only if he knew that Khushi was on the other side of the door, clutching her bag to her chest, crying her heart out.

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Translations : 

Ji - A suffix commonly used for husbands or elders (In India)

Bhai - Brother

Di - Sister (Arnav's Sister mostly)

Jiji - Sister (Khushi's Sister mostly)

Ah yes, there's always a drama alert... 

Check for important questions here

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